My first entry had to be something special. I waited for the right topic and finally found something worthy enough (read: swarthy enough) to mention. Here goes nothing. And I mean nothing.
The newest rage seems to be male ‘celebutantes’ (Caucasian uber rich kids of the mega stars) becoming ... ready ...ready .. RAPPERS! Yes, they are actively pursuing rap careers.. I kid you not! After throwing up in my mouth all day while putting in the research to get the scoop on this ridiculous concept I have a list that will make you cringe.
The List
Chet Haze
Apostle of Wiggerville
Chet Hanks is so wack he makes Kevin Federline look like Eminem.
Tom Hanks has a son named Chet Hanks, who looks like Brian Austin Green from 90210 but raps like ... Brian Austin Green from 90210. Poor Tom Hanks, all of those Oscars and your celebrity buddies have an amazing new reason to rip on you at million dollar parties. (Jack Nicholson would go nuts with this information, perfect ammo)
The sad news is that Chet Hanks talks about private islands, sipping purple syrup, smoking blunts and stabbing people with ski-poles. (Yes, gangsters do quite a bit of skiing in the Hamptons) He kind of omits the fact that his dad pays his bills.
The good news is that he also talks about college life. At least if the rap career bombs he has his General Arts and Sciences Degree to fall back on, while spending dads Green Mile (Get it? Green Mile... money is green? .. lame joke, sorry). So sad. For every Colin Hanks there is a Chet Hanks. Hank Cheezy is 21.
He was recently reviewed by a huge celebrity.
"Son, I'm so disappointed." - Tom Hanks
Chet Hanks is so wack he makes Kevin Federline look like Eminem.
Tom Hanks has a son named Chet Hanks, who looks like Brian Austin Green from 90210 but raps like ... Brian Austin Green from 90210. Poor Tom Hanks, all of those Oscars and your celebrity buddies have an amazing new reason to rip on you at million dollar parties. (Jack Nicholson would go nuts with this information, perfect ammo)
The sad news is that Chet Hanks talks about private islands, sipping purple syrup, smoking blunts and stabbing people with ski-poles. (Yes, gangsters do quite a bit of skiing in the Hamptons) He kind of omits the fact that his dad pays his bills.
The good news is that he also talks about college life. At least if the rap career bombs he has his General Arts and Sciences Degree to fall back on, while spending dads Green Mile (Get it? Green Mile... money is green? .. lame joke, sorry). So sad. For every Colin Hanks there is a Chet Hanks. Hank Cheezy is 21.
He was recently reviewed by a huge celebrity.
"Son, I'm so disappointed." - Tom Hanks
Chet Haze - White and Purple
Pablo Dylan
P Pablo Dylan, Bob Dylan’s grandson is a 16 year old rapper who sounds like a mix of T-Pain and New Kids on the Block. He is only 16 years old but has the ability to suck for another 5-6 years.
Pablo Dylan is so wimpy he makes Joey Lawrence look like Steven Seagal.
Pablo Dylan is so pampered he uses a diaper as a do-rag.
Thanks Pablo, for making average suburban white kids look “gangsta”.
T I This is just ugly. T-Pain is partly to blame; having delusions of grandeur from a famous family name is even more responsible. Jacob Dylan is so wack he makes Right Said Fred look like Beethoven.
Top Of The World (Prod. Closer) - Pablo Dylan
Rich Hil
"Lowered Expectaaaaatiooons"
Probably the worst offender on the list, Rich Hil is the son of fashion mogul Tommy Hilfiger. The words ‘Limo Life’ is tattooed on Rich Hil’s knuckles. Need I say more? Yes. He has been making rap music for quite a few years and has actually regressed in talent. He spent last year getting his entire body covered in a huge tattoo from the chin down, and sports a scruffy mop top and toque.
Ricky Hil is so incoherent he makes Chet Haze sound like Aristotle.
He has plastered youtube.com with dozens of videos where he whines and babbles without any clear sense of lucidity. Even worse, he smokes a joint in every single video, as if weed and tattoos will create "street cred". This kid truly just mumbles anything (Unlike Chet and Pablo who seem to have written down lyrics... bad, bad lyrics) . He looks and sounds like he thinks Lil Wayne is Jesus. The sad part is Lil Wayne will never have access to as much money as Rich Hil.
Poor Tommy Hilfiger, he tried to raise his son right, and couldn't even raise his son white. (bad joke).. - Oddly enough, I sort of think Rich Hil is SO wack that it's dope yo....
Rich Hil makes Waka Flocka Flame sound like KRS-One.
PS – Rich Hil has a record deal now. With production by Lex Luger! I will actually download this album.
Ricky Hil is so incoherent he makes Chet Haze sound like Aristotle.
He has plastered youtube.com with dozens of videos where he whines and babbles without any clear sense of lucidity. Even worse, he smokes a joint in every single video, as if weed and tattoos will create "street cred". This kid truly just mumbles anything (Unlike Chet and Pablo who seem to have written down lyrics... bad, bad lyrics) . He looks and sounds like he thinks Lil Wayne is Jesus. The sad part is Lil Wayne will never have access to as much money as Rich Hil.
Poor Tommy Hilfiger, he tried to raise his son right, and couldn't even raise his son white. (bad joke).. - Oddly enough, I sort of think Rich Hil is SO wack that it's dope yo....
Rich Hil makes Waka Flocka Flame sound like KRS-One.
PS – Rich Hil has a record deal now. With production by Lex Luger! I will actually download this album.
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